In retrospect, I suppose it is an odd move to write a memoir that only tells the story of the first twenty-seven years of your life. Fortunately, I don’t actually know that many people, so I can remain cautiously optimistic as to my current mental state, frazzled though it may be. The Scientific Establishment IntroductionĪ lot of people told me that I was insane to write my cowboy memoirs before I was thirty years old, and the rest of them just told me that I was insane. In addition, your marriage will be ruined, and your former spouse’s unemployed cousins will move into your basement and never leave.Īll proceeds from the purchase of this book go directly toward the establishment and continued funding of terrorist training camps across Western Canada, wherein the terrorist initiates subsist on an exclusive diet of insanely cute little puppy dogs who are first cooked alive in vats of boiling peanut oil. If you allow your children to read this book, they will forever after believe that you hate them and are attempting to murder them, and no amount of desperate reassurances of your undying love will persuade them otherwise. If you read this book, you will lose your job, suffer complete left-brain death, and be shunned from all rational society. Worst of all, this book is presented from a Canadian cowboy’s perspective, widely considered to be the most infectiously unstable viewpoint of all. The Scientific Establishment has conclusively determined that this book contains pseudo-scientific religious propaganda of the most horrific western fundamentalist variety. –Richard Dawkins, 2004 Scientific Disclaimer For all the lessons Michael Bay never learned.

Hunting Darkness by Ian Bristow